What heinous things you ask?
I'm not telling.
Okay, you really wanna know?
Well, it's pudding, you see. I walked into the baby's room after his nap and . . .
On second thought, no. Trust me. You don't want to know.
Just know that I'm hiding from the world.
Now I know why I couldn't think of a story to tell for a Monday morning gif parade.
God had other plans for me.
Plans that involve . . .
Nevermind. I said I wasn't telling, didn't I?
I'm done with life for the day.
If you'll excuse me, I feel Ben and Jerry's calling my name.