Updates for those of you who still love me

I finally found a place to live!

Now I just have to move all of my crap, including my children,

 my impressive fabric stash,

And my growing makeup collection.

Because the only thing worse than searching for a new place to live is actually packing everything up and hauling it there.

I know what you're thinking.

Why, yes. Yes, you are. Because everyone knows moving sucks. But never fear, I have good news.

Since I live in the South and the South hates school children, my kids will be forced to trudge to school in 90 degree temps the first week of August. And this means the second week of August, we shall resume our Sew Along or rather begin our sew along, I suppose if I'm being honest.

So thanks keep scoping out fabric and thanks for your patience. In the meantime, despite all the moving,

Annoyances and a Poll

There are times when I love BurdaStyle. A website offering instance gratification pattern acquisition combined with an active community of knowledgeable members is a good thing.

Other times, I think they are drunk.

Today, I think they're drunk.

A few weeks ago, they put up a poll asking which of four patterns the community might like to do as a sewalong. Immediately, my eye was drawn to this gorgeous muted periwinkle motorcycle sewn up in a beautifully textured raw silk. Be still my damned heart. Look at that thing.

The other options were interesting enough but it was the moto jacket that spoke to me. I've never sewn a moto jacket before so the idea of a sewalong is just the thing to get a little procrastinist motivated. (It's a word now. Deal with it.) So I voted and I hoped and I prayed. And wonder of wonders, the sewing world agreed with me.

I eagerly awaited further details on when the sewalong would begin as I perused the internet for the perfect buttons and zippers to suit a posh shimmery linen that just so happened to fall into my lap.

Then came the post.

Then came the disappointment.

Then came the eye twitching.

Apparently, I am hella spoiled by the blogging world because when I hear sewalong, I hear free. When Burda hears sewalong, they hear Kah CHING!

I'm still making this damned jacket, people. I'm just not paying $19.99 to do so. Oh pattern included? No. The pattern is $5.99. Oh you're going to teach me to work with silk? Yeah, I already know how to do that, bud. Mostly because a slew of bloggers taught me, for free actually. Imagine that.

Boo on you, BurdaStyle. Booo on  yooooooooou!

Or maybe I'm spoiled. IDK.

Anyway, moving on to the poll section of this post. (I promise not to charge you when the results come in. Isn't that nice of me?)

What shall I sew next? I just made Pinky a slew of new things the last few weeks and I managed to sew up my first version of Sewaholic's newest pattern, The Belcarra blouse (blog post to come soon) so I'd like to take advantage of my sewing mojo while it's still flowing. Mostly because I should be cleaning. I'm always more successful at things when I'm supposed to be doing something else.

Shall I dive into the Motorcycle jacket? (Wait until you see this linen. You will die.)

Perhaps I should get it popping on the Caroline Doll project but starting on pinky's chemise, though I'd rather wait until the linen for my chemise arrives so I can do them both together.

Shift sewn by ECDCostume

Or should I stop being such a fraidy cat and bring my serger into submission via the very lovely Burda 7059? I have a rayon slub knit in a navy print that's begging to be worn to church on Sunday.

What say you?

I want a new baby

Not another baby. A fresh one. One that doesn't do heinous things.

What heinous things you ask?

I'm not telling. 

Okay, you really wanna know?

Well, it's pudding, you see. I walked into the baby's room after his nap and . . .

On second thought, no. Trust me. You don't want to know.

Just know that I'm hiding from the world.

Now I know why I couldn't think of a story to tell for a Monday morning gif parade.

God had other plans for me.

Plans that involve . . .

Nevermind. I said I wasn't telling, didn't I?

I'm done with life for the day.

If you'll excuse me, I feel Ben and Jerry's calling my name.

 

A moment of silence for the dress that will never be

Some days just don't go my way. Admittedly, it's often my lack of interest in planning aka I was totally going to get up off my rear end and shave my legs last night buuuuuuuuuut, I really need to figure out how to make this for pinky's regency outfit. Look at it! I don't know the historical term for this little big girl onesie but it features tiny pintucks on the bottom with just a touch of lace. How cute would that look peeking from under the hem of pinkerton's skirts?

The internet really is a big ol' rabbit hole. Poor Alice ought to be grateful she didn't grow up in the digital age. The cats alone would keep you busy for days. But I digress.

Due to that whole too lazy to get off the computer at a decent hour bit I mentioned, my wardrobe options were limited to stuff involving pants. I pulled on a top I've recently made, my old reliable black pants, and was finishing up my make up when I noticed two big brown spots on the shoulder. At this point, my kids are already in the car, having scurried out ahead of my usual Sunday morning wrath. (If you are a church goer with kids, I don't have to explain this to you. You know and you just cringed.) I stalk into the bedroom and quickly throw on another shirt only to have my husband interrupt me saying, "Whyyyyyy? That one looked better!"

Thanks for that, champ. 

A heavy sigh later and I'm stalking out of the house. I make the fool mistake of looking down and there's some big splotch on the shit of my pants.

The point of this meaningless story is that I need some new church clothes, namely dresses. So I took a whirl around the internet to get some inspiration and was confronted by the one sewing pattern that mocks me in its "completely unsuitable for you" cuteness.

Oh how I want this dress. It calls to me every.single.time I walk into the fabric store. Hell, there is a good possibility I actually bought the pattern. But I promptly lost it or something because it is not around to mock me and my big ol' bust. As cute as this dress is the honest truth is that high necks make it look as if my boobs are going to eat my face.

I'm sure you're thinking, well, dude, how hard would it be to change the bodice to something more flattering, like a v neck perhaps. AND LOSE ALL THAT LOVELY DETAILING?

No, my friends. Better to have loved and lost than to forge on and piss myself off/bring on a big boob shame spiral from which only ice cream can soothe. 

Le sigh

Somethings just aren't meant to be.

Like a potential love affair between me and Tom Hardy.

Aww, do you need someone to kiss your boo boo?

He thinks I'm funny. It's a start, right?

P.S. the internet has suggested Tom Hardy as an excellent starting point for a Monday Morning gif parade. I'm not sure I can disagree. 'Til tomorrow then.

I didn't die.

I've just been useless. Allow me to distract you from my hot mess behind.

A plague on both your houses

Sometimes, I don't like the people I live with.

Mr is never sick. Peteybird only gets headaches now and then, sometimes the occasional fever. Pinky somehow manages to only get a case of the sniffles. However, every.single.time homegirl brings home a case of a slightly runny nose, pudding and I take to our beds for a week with the downright miserables. Poor baby is cutting molars too and generally suffering from an unfun life which means I'm suffering from an unfun life and have accomplished preeeetty much nothing in the last few days.

However, as February is Black History Month and features Valentine's Day, I have fought through the fog of congestion and stuffy ears to post this sweet picture of a couple in love. I hope you'll stop by every day this month for a fresh picture of black couples throughout history looking all sappy-like at each other.

Also, stop by later today so I can tell you all about Sew Grateful week and make fresh excuses about my procrastination.

Ugh

I would love to show you pics of the amazing cake I baked and decorated for my ONE YEAR OLD little boy. But alas, UPS left my amazon package in the garage.

I have no garage.

So here's a cat instead.

Is it just me or does it look dead?

Here's a cuter one.

For the record

I did finish my Sew Simple for the week but alas, no one can find the damned card reader.

I'm starting to think he really did eat it.

Babies are so overrated.

An Anniversary Story

One upon a time, this man of mine asked me to marry him.

There are a thousand lies they could have told
me to fix that hair. I might still be put out.

So I bought the biggest, blingiest, affordable dress I could find.

Just married!

 

And walked right on down the aisle.

No, we aren't Amish.

It's mostly been sweet.

Hey, I made that cake!

And despite three deployments, 

All American family right here

we haven't managed to kill each other.

This one is disgustingly cute, yes?

We're raising some kids,

Man, they are so big now.

a dog,

Wook at dat tiny puppers!

and recently added a baby to the mix.

I think I was high on vicodin here.

Not too shabby, I say. Not too shabby at all.

This one goes out to the one I love

Admittedly, I was pretty stumped for a blog post today, mostly because my lazy behind still has not taken a picture of my advent scarf (you'll be pleased to know you have 21 shopping days left until Christmas.) I also haven't sewn anything in two days. So as one is wont to do, I asked facebook. As a result, I'm just gonna dedicate this one to my bestie. She knows who she is. She is my friend, my sister in heiferdom, my partner in procrastination, the introverted ying to my extroverted yang (or something) and would you believe we've never laid eyes on each other in person??

::sigh::

One day, my pretty. One day. In the meantime, 

Go by yourself some new clothes, woman!! Might I suggest the following?

I can even tell you where to buy it all. Except now I want to burn down everything because that coat, which is only $40, btw, only comes in one damned size.

THE INTERNET HATES MY PEOPLE!

Oh, look! Delia's has one for $60. Doooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeet!

And for the rest of you, let's just gaze upon the following lovely while singing showtunes to ourselves.

Burberry Trench
$746 from farfetch.com