I am officially obsessed with historic fashion

And here's another blog on the topic, I Love Historical Clothing. I'm loving the post on Mirror, Mirror because while the costumes were faboo, the white gown in the woods being one of my favorites, I cannot recommend you waste your life watching that hot mess. Julia Roberts was the best thing about that movie and I don't even like that chick.

Contrary to popular belief, my stepmother wasn't half bad.
It was that evil swan on my head that caused me to flee the kingdom.

See?

Robin hood meets the Seven Dwarves.
Do you think they hand embroidered that underbust corset too?

It's no surprise that the costumes turned out so well. They were created by Eiko Ishioka, a costume designer responsible for some of my favorite cinematic goodies.

Gary Oldman + corsets = eye candy for days

Winona Schimona, look at the lace!

She also did the costuming for The Cell starring Vincent D'Onofrio and J.Lo before she became famous for making crappy rom coms and her dating life. But you try finding a still of that flick that does those sets justice. It isn't a good movie either but the costumes alone are reason enough to watch.

For more examples of Ishioka's work, check out this blog, Fashionista. I'm particularly interested in seeing Theresa: Body of Christ but see if I'm lucky enough for Netflix to have it. And that will be a no. I will have to made due with admiring the silk taffeta of this gown.

I knew pinky's regency dress was oddly familiar

 

The youngest of the Dashwood sisters as portrayed by Emilie Francois in the 1995 version Sense and Sensibility was a big fan of the fichu, even whilst fighting off pirates and assigning underlings to the more unsavory tasks associated with running a large vessel.

No wonder you mother and sister run your life, wuss.

What kind of dumbass doesn't know where the Nile is?

So this is what grown ups do.
When will angry birds be invented?

I could have saved you all that terrible blubbering
if you'd only listened to me about the rain.

Don't you wish your treehouse was boss like mine?

Emilie acted in two more movies post Sense and Sensibility, Paws and New Year's Day before graduated from Cambridge University. She also earned an MA from Georgetown and is working on her doctorate at Oxford while pursuing a career in journalism. In 2003, she converted to Islam and gave up acting.

How netflix costs me extra money

I watch a lot of netflix instant. I won't say how much but let's just put it out there that I could probably recite you the first five picks in half the categories by heart. Mr man works nights so I either watch while he's asleep during the day or I watch after he's gone to work and the kids have gone to bed.

Sometimes I come across delicious goodness, like the Forsyte Saga.

Well, hello there,
Captain Douchecanoe  Mr. Soames Forsyte

Sometimes I come across absolute crap that not even pretty little Orlando Bloom can save. (I'd provide a link but I don't want to be responsible for your sudden case of depression.)

I thought about jumping too,
until I remembered I had the remote.

And then sometimes I come across a movie that should be immediately forgettable were it not for one amazing garment that makes my life.

Uma totally looks like a Stepford wife here, amiright?

Okay, perhaps that's an exaggeration. After all, this dress is not the most clever of designs, nor does it use any sort of new color scheme, nor are the fabric choices very inspired. Nonetheless, I was striken with a case of acute Gottamakethisnowitis that would not be cured until I did a little click click over at Fabric Mart and ensured a couple yards of grape charmeuse and black lace netting were speeding their way to my home.

That belt is terrible. Perhaps a sash?
And the length is a bit too long for my tastes.

While I wait for Mr Postman to bring me my goods, I have to figure out how to put it together. I've got the sleeves and the skirt down pat and even the neckline but the whole bodice is still a mystery.

No matter. I cannot wear it until I no longer have to share the sisters with my five month old. That gives me seven months to come up with something.

Btw, if you're curious, the movie is called The Accidental Husband. Unless you simply want to see the dress in action, do yourself a favor and skip this massive, nearly plotless, anticlimatic turd of a movie. It's an insult to my intelligence, to women in general, to Jeffrey Dean Morgan's opportunity to headline a movie, and most of all, to the awesomeness that is Colin Firth.

Look, I think Mr Firth is the bee's knees and apparently, a nice dude in real life to boot. But unless you have a raving addiction to the former Mr. Darcy/Uncle Jamie/King George VI, do yourself a favor and watch this instead.

That's right, you walk  home,
you dirty, dirty boy
and in leather too.

Not enough Colin? Skip right over to the Best Week Ever archives and take a handful of napkins along to deal with that drool problem you've suddenly developed. I see you. 

Speaking of Mr. Firth, if you haven't seen A Single Man, please get on it. It's beautifully shot, so very pretty, and quite lovely. In fact, it's the prettiest movie I've seen since Girl With a Pearl Earring, also a Colin Firth flick. Except the former is a fantastic movie while the latter forces you to endure a particularly glassy eyed, opened mouth Scarlett Johansson while waiting for Colin sightings.

Oh the horror!

Today, my son misidentified Take It On the Run as a Beatles song.

Three of the Fab Four just rolled over in their graves.



Oh, Ringo's not dead?
Someone tell his eyes.



My friend Elizabeth is going to drive her happy behind all the way from Connecticut and burn my house down unless I rectify this unfortunate situation. Despite being perfect for pretending you're an 80's front man while booking 75 on the highway, on no planet does REO Speedwagon sound like the Beatles.

No way, no how.

::sigh::

It's a long way to the top if you're going to rock n roll, especially if you can't tell one era from another. I wonder if Dewey Finn might be willing to live in my sewing room for a few months. I'm pretty sure I can manage to scrounge up enough Mountain Dew, gummy peaches, and a couple months of WOW subscriptions with which to pay him.

 

What up? Level 80 paladin the house!

Speaking of 80's front bands, please, please, please explain to me who told Tom Cruise he could be a rocker? He couldn't be mistaken for a roadie and yet someone cast him in the role of a rock god.

Really? I mean really???!?

I'll petition the court myself to get Russell Brand half of Katy Perry's money if it will keep him from selling his soul to a certain Xenu loving pygmy. But clearly it's too late. Instead of gifting Tommy boy with the derision he deserves, Russell is actually starring in Rock of Ages along side Catherine Zeta-Jones and one of the proactive girls.

It's too late for that face, Russell.
You already took the money.

To make matters worse, it looks like Tom Cruise is going to spend the majority of the movie sans shirt.

Tom Cruise:
More effective than ipecac syrup since 1987

It's a shame Justin Timberlake's too busy seducing dukes, romancing penniless writers, and singing about diamonds. Someone needs to bring sexy back again and it shouldn't be Tom "don't mind the lifts in my shoes" Cruise.

"Don't tell him I told you about the lifts."

Sadly, judging by the girlchild's response to the Rock of Ages trailer, I suspect I'll be forced to watch it. At least the music will be good. Too bad my powers of make believe will be challenged and my eyeballs assaulted by Tom Cruise's sweaty nipples. Whatever will I do to clease my brain of such horrific sights?





I'm suddenly feeling a lot better.