Monday, June 18, 2012
As with anything in my life, the anticipation is worse than the actual event. Summer is here and my kids aren't dead. I'll give you a moment to recover from your shock. While I have been asked too many times to count a barage of questions, I've yet to hear the dreaded, "Mommy, I'm boooooooooreeeeeeed!" Maybe because they know I would end them. I'm not sure. In any case, the weather has been beautiful, the kids have been cooperating and thanks to a friend from church, we made our first trek of the summer to a beautiful pool in my friend's subdivision.
Can we talk about swimsuit season for a moment? Because quite frankly, I'm annoyed with all the hubaloo about getting your perfect beach body and the obsession with the right swimsuit to flatter your figure. Let's be honest here. Unless you're Twiggy, there isn't much flattering about any swimsuit. In fact, it's much like voting for president. It's not a matter of what you love but what you hate the least. Or perhaps I'm the only one whose "troublespots" have nowhere to hide in a bathing suit.
You give me a pencil skirt and a pretty top and I feel fine as hell (because I am fine as hell, let's not lie.) But you wave a swimsuit in my face and suddenly, I'm feeling a bit like something Captain Ahab was chasing, albeit slightly less white.
There's nothing perfect about my figure. The sisters are difficult to support even when I'm not nursing, my postpartum belly resembles a bowl full of pudding, and there are faint lighting bolts streaking across my thighs. But it's my body. I'm not going to let a series of crappy commercials and magazine articles make me feel bad about wearing a garment that wouldn't flatter all my less than stellar spots even if lovingly crafted by Karl Lagerfeld himself (don't laugh).
I have two choices. I can hide or I can be proud. I'm choosing the latter, not just because I don't want thoughts about my jiggly ass to destract me from playing Loch Ness monster in the pool with the kidlets but because I hope my daughter notices.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
On a slightly related note, do people not take young babies in the water? I couldn't find a single swim diaper to fit pudding's tiny heinie. They don't even make plastic pants that small. Anyone have some advice here? I see more pool visits in our future and I don't expect him to hit 18lbs any time soon. Sure, he could wear the monstro ones but I thought the point was to contain his power poots. If his swim diaper doesn't hold up, I may as well save myself the ten bucks and stick him in his shorts. YAY FOR FREE!