Monday, May 7, 2012

Call CPS!!

My poor, abused, unloved baby!!

Nubbie = happiness

So I thought I'd be a nice mom and take the kids downtown to see the Tall Ships on the Savannah River. Sadly, my happy behind got there too late to do anything fun and the city had this brilliant set up that made getting decent pictures nearly impossible without dropping scratch on boarding tickets. But that's neither here nor there. The point is, I was trying to do something cool with my children and ended up wrecking the helpless one in the process.

In my defense, I was attempting to use my stellar mom skills to keep Pudding's beloved nubbie from going rogue as we crossed a busy intersection. In my crusading zeal, I swiped my unsuspecting buddhabelly right below his little eye and left a nice, shiny bleeder as evidence of my fail.

Of course, he wailed like I tried to chuck him into the river, earning me a cascade of side eyes as I attempted to comfort him, once safely across the street of course. But it's only fair as I did try to blind him.

But in an effort to prove I'm not a complete screw up, I will take the time to tell you that I am so good at this mothering thing, that I know what my kids need even before they do. For instance, Peteybird came home sick from school today. Lucky for him, mama had a nice pot of soup simmering on the stove. It's totally because I'm awesome, right?


I know. I still tried to gouge out my kid's eye. It's going to take more than a soup coincidence to make up for that.

Guess I better think about buying the kid a pony, huh?

He looks relatively unscathed though, yes?

To make myself feel better, we sauntered over to Leopold's and snagged us some ice cream. After all, sweet dairy goodness cures everything.


  1. Dead at "soup coincidence". It'd be a great name for a band.

  2. Awww. Poor kiddo.
    I like the stripes!